Sunday, March 8, 2015

Where Am I?

I had my wisdom teeth taken out last Monday.

Not nearly as painful as I thought it was going to be, and I was in the process of berating myself for being a big whiny baby, when I fell asleep.  And didn't wake up for 96 hours.

When I finally did wake up, I was in my living room.  It was 1972 and I was wearing something hideous.  Wait, no, those were just the images I was pulling up on my computer from all the various Fashion Weeks going on around the world.  I'm not lying when I say that worse than having my wisdom teeth pulled out was waking up and finding out that we're having a '70s fashion revival.

Please, St. Anthony and the Blessed Virgin, not the '70s.  Any other decade but the '70s.  Those of us who count ourselves amongst the survivors will tell you:  the '70s were nobody's friend.  The '60s were fun, the '80s were silly, the '90s were at least comfortable.  But the '70s???  There were earth tones in the '70s, colors like "pumpkin" and "avocado" and "harvest gold".  And brown.  Lots and lots of brown.  Everyone wore "fat clothes" and had long, straight, stringy hair.  The only way I can explain '70s fashion is I think LSD was still legal back then.

I should have seen the signs, when wedges started creeping back onto the fashion scene, that muumuus wouldn't be far behind.  And "flares" (yeah, those look great tucked into your boots).  And let's not forget fringe.  Who doesn't want to look like a macrame hanging planter?

But the real bottom-feeder in all of this was the new "boyfriend" jeans I saw being sold by a major retailer.  Sure, if your boyfriend's name is "Lil' Loco" and he's out on probation.  I know that fashion needs to keep changing in order to fund the industry, but...really?

There's an upside, though.  As long as it looks like saggy-baggy is here to stay for a while, here's a little something fattening for you that I found on the Internet:

Brain-Dead Easy Chocolate Mousse
Buy a box of instant chocolate pudding mix.  Or any flavor, vanilla's good, too, but make sure it's the instant stuff.  Put it in a bowl and add two cups of whipping cream.  Beat with a whisk for 2 - 2 1/2 minutes.  Eat.  Enjoy.  Get fat.  Go buy a muumuu.

Since Monday, I've only been allowed food that doesn't have to be chewed.  This stuff fit the bill.  True, healthy smoothies would have fit the bill, too.  But what fun is that?

In a world that suddenly looks like an Olsen twin's nightmare, I think I need a little comfort food.


  1. I am so glad you survived. There is just not enough whipped cream in life so Good For You. Slurp it up. Earth tones aside, I loved the 70's. maybe it was the drugs but I was a happy little granola eater living the Rockie Mountains. Now the 80's. that was a nightmare era. Those shoulder pads! That hair mousse. I still haven't recovered.

  2. Hi babe! I've been meaning to come here earlier to check if everything had gone well with your surgery But the internet Has been off since Friday afternoon and only now has been restored, God knows for how long once again. So glad to hear all went well for You and that you are recovering fast. I really Love some trends of the 70's and bet you' d look amazing in some of them, but i Loved your remarks on that decade, You are really funny. Enjoy your delicious mousse and If You were here i Would bake You a white chocolate pudding with strawberries pulp that i' m sure You Would enjoy.
    Bacci tanti

  3. I love the 70s!!!!! Literally almost breaking my ankle in my wedges and clogs everyday lately hahahaha! When I break my ankle I can already hear my Doogey Howser doctor telling me I'm too old for this shit and that I should get sensible shoes. I love the styles, but the colors are the worst!!! I like to call 70s brown "Doodoo brown" because I'm completely infantile. Love those gauzy cottons, though.

  4. I just looked up Cooking With Dog!!! I love it!!! Just love it! Thank you!!!!!

  5. Sweetie I'm sorry you suffered so much!! You'd better not stop by my blog for some months because I'm all about Seventies trends right now!! Thank you for the recipe! Ps. In the end everything is trendy - almost everything. PSps. I love crossbody bags too bit they mostly come in mini-sizes!
    Coco et La vie en rose - Valeria Arizzi


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