Monday, November 23, 2015

Three Days Before

Today I'm going to do one thing.  I'm going to roll out the pie crusts with the dough I made about a week and a half ago.

First thing this morning, I took the dough out of the fridge, where it's been waiting.  It should be at, or near, room temperature.  This takes about an hour or two.

The next thing I did was pull out the two new 9-inch deep dish pie plates I bought last year at Mariano's for $10 each, which was a quarter of the price that I saw them going for at the fancy kitchen store.  Pretty much the same dish, so why so cheap?  I'll tell you why.  Because I just spent a half an hour peeling off all the labels and price tags which were stuck on there like they wanted them to survive a zombie apocalypse.  Can someone please explain to me why companies do this?  It's like, why do they put scratchy tags on the back of the neck?  And why are there seams on socks?  Right at the toe?  

Never mind, I just figured out it was water-soluble.  Too late for my nails, though.

Now, for those of you who hyperventilate at the thought of rolling out a pie crust, relax.  I've got some secrets:  

Secret #1:  I never put a crust on top of my pies.  I don't have the patience.  Fortunately, I make pumpkin and pecan pies for Thanksgiving, and neither of them need a crust on top.  So the only visible part of my pie crust is the rim and that's easy.  Seriously, NOBODY is going to see the mistakes, only taste the deliciousness.

Secret #2:  I don't roll out pie crust.  I used to, but I've accumulated enough agita over a lifetime, and I don't need any more.

This is the way I do it.  I cut the dough in half (I made a double recipe, remember?).  I take one half, knead it until it's soft and sort of sticky, flatten it into a disk, and then I press the dough into one of the pie plates.  Like I was playing with Play Dough.  Everybody's played with Play Dough, right?  I press it all along the bottom, up the sides, and over the rim.  Then I take a fork, dip it in flour, and press it into the dough around the rim.  Dip, press, dip press, dip, press.  All around.  This keeps the dough from shrinking when you bake the pies.  Do the same thing with the other half of dough.

Ecco!  That's it.  Aren't they things of beauty?  Could Martha Stewart do better?  Well, yeah, maybe.  But I could crochet a better poncho.

If you want to roll it out the old-fashioned way, you need a rolling pin.  If you don't have a rolling pin, you can use a wine bottle.  If you don't have a wine bottle, we're not friends.  Stop reading this and go away.

And, if you're rolling, you'll need a clean, flat surface.  I used to use a giant cutting board, but you can even use your kitchen counter if it's clean.  From here on in, you're on your own.  I'm done.

CAREFULLY wrap the pie plates in Saran wrap and put them in the fridge.  Tomorrow we bake!



  

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